Excursion Story Cont.

I have received multiple requests to finish the story about how I crashed my Excursion, so here we go...  After finding out that everyone was OK, it was time to get out of the truck.  The problem with that was the truck was laying on its side, so your boy goes in to movie action hero mode and kicks a hole in the windshield lol.  Now this kick was one that would have made Jackie Chan proud, the only problem was that I'm still drunk so my accuracy was off and I almost kicked Panama in the face lol.  Now that I have provided our escape route I begin to push my way through this hole in the windshield.  Now if you remember from earlier in the story I told you I had my shirt off for flexing and picture taking purposes... So now my back is getting ripped to shreds as I force my way through this glass hole that starts off about the size of a basketball.  Finally I make my way out, my back is bloody and I have cuts all over my hands and arms from all of the broken glass.  I then reach back into the glass hole and begin pulling Panama out of the truck, in my mind I'm saving us from an explosion that  I know is pending...  Panama start to yell "stop, stop, stop pulling me!"  Lol he is a bit larger than I and the glass is ripping him to shreds as well.  But I'm in action hero mode so I just keep pulling him until he finally makes it out of the hole.  Next comes the girl in the back seat who can make it through the hole with no problems.  But as soon as she gets through she passes out on the ground from fear and some phantom injury she received lol.  We were telling her to get up before the Cops came but she just kept shaking her head no and acting like she was unconscious lol.  So its Fairs turn to pass through the hole, its pure comedy because he is the size of a damn professional wrestler so the glass tears his back to shreds too. 


Now we are all out of the tuck, me in action hero mode, Panama, Fair the professional wrestler and the girl in the back seat who is now faking being passed out and laying on the street.  For some reason Tex has pulled his truck over, told one of the girls that was riding with him to drive, and now he is sitting on the curb with his head down acting like he was in the accident as well.  We keep hollering "Tex what are you doing?" but he just keeps waving us off and acting like he didn't know who we were lol.  I guess he just wanted to be apart of the action.  At this point we can hear sirens and see that the cops are approaching.  The boys decide that so I won't go to jail for a reckless driving and a DUI I should flee the scene and they would take care of it.  Drunk logic but it makes perfect sense to me so I start running, I run down the street, through a ditch, and across some train tracks.  When I cross the train tracks I see two black guys smoking, leaning up against at car.  One of them says "Damn dog that crash was crazy, put this shirt on so you don't look guilty".  He hands me this black T-shirt that reeks of weed smoke but I put it on any way because I don't want to look guilty.


So now I'm standing there in a black T-shirt that is getting my high from the smell of it and I'm next to the two guys who saw the whole crash as they were leaning on their car smoking.  I look back at the scene of the crash (I only ran about 30 yards down the street) and see probably the funniest thing I have ever seen.  Panama and Fair have now taken their shirts off and are fussing with the cops claiming that they both were the driver of the truck.  Tex is still sitting on the curb in a daze and the ambulance has come to pick up the girl who was faking being unconscious.  I can see the Police are getting a bit tired of the drunken tirade that my friends were putting on in my behalf so I decide to go back so that they don't get arrested for something I did.  As I'm running back to the crash scene I hear Panama getting into an argument with one of the officers, he has asked him to borrow his coat and the officer has refused.  Panama then says "so you're just going to let me freeze out here man?  Aren't you supposed to protect the innocent?"  So as Panama is arguing with that officer, Fair is pleading to the other officer to believe his story that he was the driver of the truck and the whole thing was his fault. 


When I get back to the crash scene the boys have a look on their face like what the hell are you doing, we had this under control lol.  At that time my boy Bird Dog pulls up out of no where and tells me to get in the car so we can leave.  To this day I don't know who told him we were there or where he came from.  I get into his car and he is like "man we have to go" and I say "no I cant leave them out there like that, it was my fault".  (I must have been high from the shirt)  So Bird Dog says "man you're tripping but you have to do what you have to do".  I start hollering curses and punching the dash board because I know I'm in serious trouble and I know I cant let the boys go down for what I did.  So I get out of the car (after breaking the air bag from punching the dashboard) and start telling the Cops that it was me driving the truck.  Panama and Fair are pushing me out of the way and telling the officers that they have never seen me before and I'm liar.  I tell the officer again that I promise you I was the one driving the truck and you can check the registration to prove it.  The officer then arrests me immediately lol, throws me in the back of the Cop car and I'm sitting there like what in the hell have I just done. 


Now the boys are really going crazy, Panama is challenging one officer to a fist fight under the mantra "My mom is a Dr." lol, Fair is threatening to break me out of jail if I am arrested and now Tex is up from the curb and telling the Cops that he was the one driving.  Police officers are coming and going from the scene and by the time an officer comes and talks to me there is only two Cop cars at the scene and two officers dealing with the boys.  At about 4 a.m. an officer comes to the Cop car and opens the door, he asks me one question "have you  been drinking?" I respond "absolutely".  He says "I'm going to give a field sobriety test and if you pass then you can go", I respond "lets do it".  He stands me up, takes the cuffs off and starts barking orders.  I clap my hands and get into game mode, I blaze the tests and start talking shit "Is that all you got? You have to have something harder than this".  The officer just laughs and says "Get the hell out of here, you and your boys".  After passing the tests I run over to the boys and we start chest bumping and slapping five like we just won a championship game.  Now our attention then goes to the truck that is still laying on its side, we all look at each other and come up with the same idea, Lets Flip It Over!  The Cops yell out "Stop!", "If yall touch that truck I'm going to arrests all of you for being drunk in public".  We stop and out of the blue Bird Dog appears with the car, we all pile in and go home.  THE END... lol