Fatherless Daughters

"Feels like I'm doomed to dealing with women who relationships with their fathers wont allow us to bloom" Pusha T


Recently I received a request from this lady friend of mine, she wanted me to expound upon a topic she was currently reading an article on. The topic is  Fatherless Daughters, well to be more specific what she really was referring to is the future actions of females that are largely dictated by the relationship with their father and how men view both the actions and the initial relationship.  Now this relationship could have been good, bad, or non-existent but the effects will most certainly permeate that young ladies actions regardless.  Now as a man I have received advice from older men and they always tell me "If you want to know if she is a keeper, look at the way she interacts with her father".   This piece of advice seems to rub some women the wrong way but I would say that for the most part it holds true.   Whether that daughter/father relationship be great or n/a it will always bare fruit.  She may be a woman who is totally comfortable hanging around with the guys, watching football and having a good time or she maybe so extra, trying to overcompensate and please you that it becomes annoying.  Her relationship with you will stem from her first interactions with a man and that is just the facts.  A fathers greatest gift to his daughter is to show her what it is to be loved by a man when sex is not involved.  That is priceless.  This is not saying that the woman who had a great relationship with her dad is going to be perfect, not hardly but it does give you at least a glimpse into what she is use to and what she will expect. 


I have dealt with women who have shown an array of attributes that can be traced back to their interactions with the man in their life at an early age.   Some have been supremely sexual and almost viewed sex as men do, not filled with emotion just pleasure and almost a means to control.  These women have revealed later on in our relationships that they were exposed to sex at an early age, some through abuse and others neglect.  I have also dealt with woman who have treated men as a resume and not a person. What I mean by this is that they view your every action as like a check list of things that need to measure up to who and what their fathers are and have. When it comes time to meet their father you can clearly see why his daughter acted in this manner.  Their dad is usually an "old player", a couple of cars, a couple of girlfriends, and usually plenty of money.  I have dealt with women who for the lack of a father have gone either one of two ways.... Example one had a extremely strong mother who provided her daughter with an example of what it is to be an "independent woman" there for the daughter becomes extremely successful, needing for nothing, and wanting only progress and success.  This woman is also usually bitter and spends her time emasculating the men she deals with, never happy with any thing they do or any thing they bring to the table.  This woman longs for that companionship she sees  in her friends relationship's but tends to hide behind a mask of "men need to step their game up".  Example two for this scenario grows up with a less than stellar example for a mother and tends to follow in her footsteps.  Doesn't want much out of life and doesn't bother trying to get it.  She is in and out of relationships, holds down a mediocre job, and is really just floating through life.  Unhappy but she doesn't know why,  craves companionship but she doesn't know why, she doesn't know much of any thing really.


I have dealt with women who are a combination of all factors and attributes and to be honest those are the women I like the most.  They have had fathers/or not, had good mothers/or not, had early sexual experiences/or not and come through it all with something that to me is the most import thing of all... "PERSPECTIVE"  There is a time for all things and for you to be all types of attributes, it is the ability to put these things in there proper place that make us all attractive as a mate.  Too much of any one thing at the wrong time is all bad and will ultimately make a successful relationship impossible to have.