"It won't be for lack of effort" That is a statement that I have been telling myself for years. I always try to make sure that the work I put into success is ample regardless of the outcome, I try to take full control of the effort. Taking control of the effort is something I learned while playing sports, one of my former coaches would always say "the effort is yours and the mistakes are mine". He was letting us know that there is a huge difference between "playing hard" and "playing well". Most of the time in sports and in life we are not in control of the outcome, there are countless factors that will dictate how far you go and the level of success you will receive. But what we all can take pride in is the thing we have full control over, our effort. How much we want it is simply not enough, you have to put that want into action.
One of the reasons I started this blog is because I wanted to see if I really was a good writer, putting my thoughts down on "paper" and out there for public view. Taking full responsibility for what is presented and being open to all the criticism I have received. That's what life is all about, putting what you have on the table and finding out if its good enough and if you don't like your results then Do Better. In the end the measurement of success will come from you, can you look at yourself and say I did everything that I could to make it. At every point, regardless of the situation, I went for it. If you can honestly say that then you are as successful as you could have possibly been, but if you cant say that then there is no need to cry about your situation.
I am a person who loves quotes and I think my favorite quote of all time speaks to this subject, "you are what you choose to be and in those choices you live". When you think of it in those terms it leaves no room for luck or circumstance, only effort, the choice to work for what you want, accepting nothing less...
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Who you are v.s. What you do
How many times do you have to do something before it becomes who you are? I always try to live by the saying "you are what you most often do". That's pretty powerful when you think about it, your actions become you, your choices become you.
This thought spawned from a conversation a coworker had with a resident at my job. My coworker called the resident dumb and the resident got offended. The resident made the point that he wasn't dumb because he got good grades but he had been locked up several times for dumb mistakes. My coworker said exactly, you continue to do dumb things with full knowledge of the consequences, Dummy.
Now his statement might have been harsh but I can't necessarily say it isn't true. How many people do you have to kill to be a murderer? How many tickets do you have to receive before you're labeled as a bad driver? If you consistently do something haven't you earned the right to be called that thing? Think of it on the positive side, if I continuously do well in school and achieve high levels of education haven't I earned the right to be called a scholar? If I'm on time for everything I do aren't I punctual? We are what we most often do and if you don't like it, DO something about it.
This thought spawned from a conversation a coworker had with a resident at my job. My coworker called the resident dumb and the resident got offended. The resident made the point that he wasn't dumb because he got good grades but he had been locked up several times for dumb mistakes. My coworker said exactly, you continue to do dumb things with full knowledge of the consequences, Dummy.
Now his statement might have been harsh but I can't necessarily say it isn't true. How many people do you have to kill to be a murderer? How many tickets do you have to receive before you're labeled as a bad driver? If you consistently do something haven't you earned the right to be called that thing? Think of it on the positive side, if I continuously do well in school and achieve high levels of education haven't I earned the right to be called a scholar? If I'm on time for everything I do aren't I punctual? We are what we most often do and if you don't like it, DO something about it.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Silence and Tears
I came across a poem today, When We Two Parted by Lord Byron. This poem put me in mood that I couldn't really describe, just the vivid imagery that took place in those simple lines made me feel all types of emotions. It really is an outstanding poem and its not the only one he has of that nature. So after reading it I was motivated to try my hand at a little poetry lol... So here is mine, Silence and Tears, inspired by Lord Byron and her...
Time will tell no lies and I have found truth in your touch
Lives change like the season but every day becomes too much
Why did it all end, was the fault yours or mine
Never will it be again for moments have become mountains to climb
All that has happened and we've grown miles apart
Just know I still want you and our love will never depart
When we were, it was magic but the spark has become dim
So now I sit and I wait for the day we two can begin, again
Time will tell no lies and I have found truth in your touch
Lives change like the season but every day becomes too much
Why did it all end, was the fault yours or mine
Never will it be again for moments have become mountains to climb
All that has happened and we've grown miles apart
Just know I still want you and our love will never depart
When we were, it was magic but the spark has become dim
So now I sit and I wait for the day we two can begin, again
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Do you see what I see?
My mother, my sister and I were having a conversation last night that covered a myriad of topics but one topic that proved to be most interesting was the ability or lack there of to see your own mistakes. Think about that for a moment... is that not one of the most important qualities you can posses. The ability to point out and accept errors you have made, without ego or shame. Being honest with yourself and first noticing that a mistake was made and then going about the business of fixing it. There is a saying that "pride comes before the fall", the pride they speak of is that blinding factor that does not allow you to see your mistakes. Operating under the shroud of ignorance that what you do is without error or flaw is supremely dangerous and somewhat annoying.
Now with all of that being said, I might be public enemy #1 when it comes to this offense lol. I am a supremely confident person and I try to put a great level of forethought into what I do and how I do it. This does not mean that I operate without error and it also does not mean that I am not receptive to criticism. But hell... that doesn't mean I enjoy hearing it! In saying that I recognize that I need to get better at inviting criticism and also making the necessary adjustments once I receive it. Yes even Superman is up for receiving coaching...
Earlier today I was talking to a lady friend of mine, the conversation was about mentors and the positive effect they have. She played a recorded interview of man that was mentored and now serves as a mentor. In this interview he made a wonderful point that has stuck with me. He said that when you get placed in a tough situation it is your responsibility to make the best of it and do what is necessary for you to succeed. He went on to say that reaching out for help is also a responsibility and in doing that you create life long relationships with those people who will serve as your support system. That point really made me think about the way I deal with things. I am never one to run from a challenge or difficult situation but I rarely reach out for help when dealing with these things. The ability to handle all that life brings is wonderful but you can not underestimate the importance of relationships. Those positive encounters with people who are placed in your life for a reason, those moments should be fostered and built upon. That is an area of improvement that I see needs to be made in myself. See how easy that was? lol...
Now with all of that being said, I might be public enemy #1 when it comes to this offense lol. I am a supremely confident person and I try to put a great level of forethought into what I do and how I do it. This does not mean that I operate without error and it also does not mean that I am not receptive to criticism. But hell... that doesn't mean I enjoy hearing it! In saying that I recognize that I need to get better at inviting criticism and also making the necessary adjustments once I receive it. Yes even Superman is up for receiving coaching...
Earlier today I was talking to a lady friend of mine, the conversation was about mentors and the positive effect they have. She played a recorded interview of man that was mentored and now serves as a mentor. In this interview he made a wonderful point that has stuck with me. He said that when you get placed in a tough situation it is your responsibility to make the best of it and do what is necessary for you to succeed. He went on to say that reaching out for help is also a responsibility and in doing that you create life long relationships with those people who will serve as your support system. That point really made me think about the way I deal with things. I am never one to run from a challenge or difficult situation but I rarely reach out for help when dealing with these things. The ability to handle all that life brings is wonderful but you can not underestimate the importance of relationships. Those positive encounters with people who are placed in your life for a reason, those moments should be fostered and built upon. That is an area of improvement that I see needs to be made in myself. See how easy that was? lol...
Saturday, November 26, 2011
And we should rejoice and be glad in it...
Good Morning....
And what a Good Morning it is, we should all take that greeting more literal than we do. Good Morning, yes it is and will always be but that is a decision that is up to us. Each day presents us with a choice of what we will make of it, the good, the bad, and the ugly lol. Its us, not our circumstance that decide whether this day will be one of joy or sorrow. Make that choice and make a wise one. You choose what your attitude will be, you choose what things will get you off your game plan. So make the right choice, choose to be happy, healthy, and above all choose to have a Good Morning...
And what a Good Morning it is, we should all take that greeting more literal than we do. Good Morning, yes it is and will always be but that is a decision that is up to us. Each day presents us with a choice of what we will make of it, the good, the bad, and the ugly lol. Its us, not our circumstance that decide whether this day will be one of joy or sorrow. Make that choice and make a wise one. You choose what your attitude will be, you choose what things will get you off your game plan. So make the right choice, choose to be happy, healthy, and above all choose to have a Good Morning...
Friday, November 25, 2011
Fatherless Daughters
"Feels like I'm doomed to dealing with women who relationships with their fathers wont allow us to bloom" Pusha T
Recently I received a request from this lady friend of mine, she wanted me to expound upon a topic she was currently reading an article on. The topic is Fatherless Daughters, well to be more specific what she really was referring to is the future actions of females that are largely dictated by the relationship with their father and how men view both the actions and the initial relationship. Now this relationship could have been good, bad, or non-existent but the effects will most certainly permeate that young ladies actions regardless. Now as a man I have received advice from older men and they always tell me "If you want to know if she is a keeper, look at the way she interacts with her father". This piece of advice seems to rub some women the wrong way but I would say that for the most part it holds true. Whether that daughter/father relationship be great or n/a it will always bare fruit. She may be a woman who is totally comfortable hanging around with the guys, watching football and having a good time or she maybe so extra, trying to overcompensate and please you that it becomes annoying. Her relationship with you will stem from her first interactions with a man and that is just the facts. A fathers greatest gift to his daughter is to show her what it is to be loved by a man when sex is not involved. That is priceless. This is not saying that the woman who had a great relationship with her dad is going to be perfect, not hardly but it does give you at least a glimpse into what she is use to and what she will expect.
I have dealt with women who have shown an array of attributes that can be traced back to their interactions with the man in their life at an early age. Some have been supremely sexual and almost viewed sex as men do, not filled with emotion just pleasure and almost a means to control. These women have revealed later on in our relationships that they were exposed to sex at an early age, some through abuse and others neglect. I have also dealt with woman who have treated men as a resume and not a person. What I mean by this is that they view your every action as like a check list of things that need to measure up to who and what their fathers are and have. When it comes time to meet their father you can clearly see why his daughter acted in this manner. Their dad is usually an "old player", a couple of cars, a couple of girlfriends, and usually plenty of money. I have dealt with women who for the lack of a father have gone either one of two ways.... Example one had a extremely strong mother who provided her daughter with an example of what it is to be an "independent woman" there for the daughter becomes extremely successful, needing for nothing, and wanting only progress and success. This woman is also usually bitter and spends her time emasculating the men she deals with, never happy with any thing they do or any thing they bring to the table. This woman longs for that companionship she sees in her friends relationship's but tends to hide behind a mask of "men need to step their game up". Example two for this scenario grows up with a less than stellar example for a mother and tends to follow in her footsteps. Doesn't want much out of life and doesn't bother trying to get it. She is in and out of relationships, holds down a mediocre job, and is really just floating through life. Unhappy but she doesn't know why, craves companionship but she doesn't know why, she doesn't know much of any thing really.
I have dealt with women who are a combination of all factors and attributes and to be honest those are the women I like the most. They have had fathers/or not, had good mothers/or not, had early sexual experiences/or not and come through it all with something that to me is the most import thing of all... "PERSPECTIVE" There is a time for all things and for you to be all types of attributes, it is the ability to put these things in there proper place that make us all attractive as a mate. Too much of any one thing at the wrong time is all bad and will ultimately make a successful relationship impossible to have.
Recently I received a request from this lady friend of mine, she wanted me to expound upon a topic she was currently reading an article on. The topic is Fatherless Daughters, well to be more specific what she really was referring to is the future actions of females that are largely dictated by the relationship with their father and how men view both the actions and the initial relationship. Now this relationship could have been good, bad, or non-existent but the effects will most certainly permeate that young ladies actions regardless. Now as a man I have received advice from older men and they always tell me "If you want to know if she is a keeper, look at the way she interacts with her father". This piece of advice seems to rub some women the wrong way but I would say that for the most part it holds true. Whether that daughter/father relationship be great or n/a it will always bare fruit. She may be a woman who is totally comfortable hanging around with the guys, watching football and having a good time or she maybe so extra, trying to overcompensate and please you that it becomes annoying. Her relationship with you will stem from her first interactions with a man and that is just the facts. A fathers greatest gift to his daughter is to show her what it is to be loved by a man when sex is not involved. That is priceless. This is not saying that the woman who had a great relationship with her dad is going to be perfect, not hardly but it does give you at least a glimpse into what she is use to and what she will expect.
I have dealt with women who have shown an array of attributes that can be traced back to their interactions with the man in their life at an early age. Some have been supremely sexual and almost viewed sex as men do, not filled with emotion just pleasure and almost a means to control. These women have revealed later on in our relationships that they were exposed to sex at an early age, some through abuse and others neglect. I have also dealt with woman who have treated men as a resume and not a person. What I mean by this is that they view your every action as like a check list of things that need to measure up to who and what their fathers are and have. When it comes time to meet their father you can clearly see why his daughter acted in this manner. Their dad is usually an "old player", a couple of cars, a couple of girlfriends, and usually plenty of money. I have dealt with women who for the lack of a father have gone either one of two ways.... Example one had a extremely strong mother who provided her daughter with an example of what it is to be an "independent woman" there for the daughter becomes extremely successful, needing for nothing, and wanting only progress and success. This woman is also usually bitter and spends her time emasculating the men she deals with, never happy with any thing they do or any thing they bring to the table. This woman longs for that companionship she sees in her friends relationship's but tends to hide behind a mask of "men need to step their game up". Example two for this scenario grows up with a less than stellar example for a mother and tends to follow in her footsteps. Doesn't want much out of life and doesn't bother trying to get it. She is in and out of relationships, holds down a mediocre job, and is really just floating through life. Unhappy but she doesn't know why, craves companionship but she doesn't know why, she doesn't know much of any thing really.
I have dealt with women who are a combination of all factors and attributes and to be honest those are the women I like the most. They have had fathers/or not, had good mothers/or not, had early sexual experiences/or not and come through it all with something that to me is the most import thing of all... "PERSPECTIVE" There is a time for all things and for you to be all types of attributes, it is the ability to put these things in there proper place that make us all attractive as a mate. Too much of any one thing at the wrong time is all bad and will ultimately make a successful relationship impossible to have.
Black Friday
I was just thinking about the whole ridiculousness of the Black Friday phenomenon. People are committed to standing and waiting for sometimes days just to get a deal on a discounted item, Flat Screens for half off or Laptops buy one get one free. Is a deal worth that much? I saw the news yesterday and a man has been camped outside of Best Buy since Wednesday in hopes of getting a 42 inch flat screen T.V. for 200$ Now its true that this is a hell of a deal but damn, since Wednesday... Do you have a job? And if so do they know you have been out since Wednesday waiting for a T.V.? Could you imagine sitting there for 48 hours defending your spot in line lol the pressure must be tremendous... I don't know if a sale is worth that much, as a matter of fact I'm almost certain it isn't. At some point you have to place value on the time spent and the effort made and in that case that T.V. cost you much more than 200$.... that T.V. has now become the most expensive T.V. in the world because you wasted two days to get it. You have sacrificed Thanksgiving, time with family, work, and all other sorts of daily pleasures just for a sale. Absolutely crazy in my opinion. Not to mention he was out there with his son lol does anyone know the number to CPS...?
If America is truly serious about this Black Friday thing then it should apply to other aspects of our society as well... Do prostitutes have discounted prices on Black Friday? If I go to the strip club today will it be acceptable to throw change instead of dollars? It is Black Friday and a deal is a deal. Where are the price cuts from drug dealers on this wonderful day of deals? How much weed can I get for 10 bucks and please take note that I have this coupon and it is Black Friday. If I get a speeding ticket today, will the fine be at a cheaper rate and if so do I have to mail in the rebate or can you just process it right here. We as a nation should really take steps to make this Black Friday thing official, global even. A day of discounts for all, so get out you camping gear and your coupons because Black Friday is here and we all love a sale.
If America is truly serious about this Black Friday thing then it should apply to other aspects of our society as well... Do prostitutes have discounted prices on Black Friday? If I go to the strip club today will it be acceptable to throw change instead of dollars? It is Black Friday and a deal is a deal. Where are the price cuts from drug dealers on this wonderful day of deals? How much weed can I get for 10 bucks and please take note that I have this coupon and it is Black Friday. If I get a speeding ticket today, will the fine be at a cheaper rate and if so do I have to mail in the rebate or can you just process it right here. We as a nation should really take steps to make this Black Friday thing official, global even. A day of discounts for all, so get out you camping gear and your coupons because Black Friday is here and we all love a sale.
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