The let down

If someone were to ask you what emotion has dominated your life, what would you say?  Would that emotion be love, hate, joy, fear...? For me, if I were to answer that question the emotion that has been most prominent in my life is disappointment.  The disappointment I have experienced in my life has permeated every realm and facet; I have been disappointed by friends, family, work, sports and academics.  Throughout my life I have had to endure one set back after the next, it’s like I have come to expect it or at least be prepared for it when it comes.  

The thing about disappointment is that the emotion is almost always of your own doing.  To be disappointed you must first have expectations and I just happen to be a person who has great expectations, I don’t let my circumstances or experiences curb my enthusiasm.  I am the type of person who allows my expectations to grow to great heights, I dream and hope and wish without boundaries or limitations.  My thoughts are always of how great things are going to be when this or that comes to fruition and because I allow myself to reach such great heights in anticipation of the best I also become vulnerable to the whole gamut of emotions when things don’t go as well as I had hoped. 

But what is the alternative; go through life with tempered dreams just to ensure that when things go wrong the pain isn’t as great.  Nope, that’s just not for me.  I will gladly endure the pain of disappoint as long as I am given the opportunity to strive to achieve those great heights and live in those glorious moments of anticipation. 

I didn't get the job.